A Pirate's tale
by mochamaker
Summary: Will Alex and Olivia find buried treasure?  Maybe in their bag of candy at the movie theater.  This is a SMOOF - smut spoof


I do not own the characters and I'm not making a profit off this tale.

Rated M

Dedication: **For my Deckhand.** *wink*

Which show am I spoofing? ;+)

**Pirates of Greece**

"Liv… I told you we were going to be late," Alex tapped her foot impatiently as she stood outside the movie theater. She gazed down at her watch for what seemed like the third time in five minutes, then watched her wife pay the taxi driver and jump out of the way as the yellow car sped off down the Manhattan puddle splattered street.

Incredulous brown eyes met her glare beneath a pixie cut of brown-blonde hair.

"I said I was going to leave on time. It was Elliot that kept me late. Call him and bitch to him about it. Besides, they have like twenty minutes of freaking previews before the movie anyways. In all the years we have been coming to this theater, we have never been on time. So why now? Where's the fire at Al?" Olivia huffed as she walked up to stand in front of her wife, her work shirt all wrinkled, her hair mussed from the her stressed fingers, and the bottoms of her trousers darkened from the rain splashes of earlier in the day. In short, she looked harried and unattractive next to her perfectly coiffed wife.

Alex grabbed her hand, rolled her eyes as she pulled Olivia along into the theater to buy their tickets. "I told you I wanted to see the previews and the start of the movie. You promised."

"For the ninth time, I'm sorry," Olivia mumbled as she dug in her wallet for cash to pay the attendant for their tickets. She gazed sadly at the thirty dollars she handed the attendant, still not use to having a rich wife and not needing to worry about budgeting each penny for rent. A trip to the movies was a treat before she met Alex.

The attendant placed the tickets in her hand, then she clutched the paper tightly between her fingers as Alex grabbed her other hand and pulled her over to the snack counter. Alex was nuts for Reese's pieces, and her dry throat would fully appreciate a cold soda sliding down it.

"I know your sorry baby, but this movie is extra special to me. I don't want to miss a minute of it."

"It's only two minutes after, I'm sure the screen isn't even situated and positioned properly yet," Olivia commented as they walked up to the snack counter to place their order. Alex ordered before Olivia caught the attendant's eye, and had already paid for the order before Olivia could pull out her wallet.

Alex picked up the snacks and said, "let's go. I'm tired of this ring-around of apology and rebuttal."

"Leave it to you to stick legalese into our conversation."

"It's what I know. Just like you stick cop lingo into every other sentence. Hazard of the job." She stuck out the dripping, large soda cup. "Here's your soda baby." Alex got a large size to compensate for being a jerk.

A quick hand reached out and grabbed the soda, but also the hand holding the beverage. Olivia stroked the inside wrist of her wife's arm in apology and took the soda before Alex dropped the heavy, dripping cup.

Olivia took a big gulp. "Yummm. So, what is the name of this movie you had to see?" A smile lifted her lips and she followed Alex down the dark hallway and into theater two where the movie would be shown. The smell of burnt popcorn and perfume assaulted her nostrils as she inhaled the cool air inside the room. She kept a tight grip on the soft hand of her wife and let Alex choose where they would be sitting. Olivia liked to sit in the middle and Alex favored the front, and after many arguments, Olivia decided to just let her wife choose.

"It's called _Pirates of Greece_, and I want to sit in the back," husked Alex as she took a sharp right turn and sat down midway along the third to the back row. The hairs on Olivia's neck prickled as she realized they would be almost in total darkness once the movie began. Warmth gathered in her abdomen as she let the idea settle in her mind. Obviously, her wife was feeling amorous tonight.

"Oh you do? _Pirates of Greece_. **ARRR** interesting." Olivia husked then took a big sip of her soda to wash down the lump in her throat.

A swish of blonde hair as Alex leaned in and murmured, "mmmm. Yes, I do." She gave a wink in her wife's direction then curled her hand tightly between strong fingers.

The warm fingers wrapped around hers stroked her skin seductively, causing her to forget about their fight of minutes before. "And why do you want to sit in the back?" Olivia whispered as the lights started to fade and the screen in front came alive with movement and bright lights.

"Because. Now, shhh. The movie is starting." Alex turned forward then slouched back with a huff in her seat, adjusting her glasses with her free hand. Olivia gazed at her wife for a minute, then turned forward to watch the movie, trying to display an expression of intense interest as the movie began.

On the screen, a dark-haired woman stood on the bow of a ship, twirling her sword in a battle with another woman. The loud clangs of their swords echoed throughout the theater, and Olivia tried not to cringe at the very loud sounds. She took a sip of her soda as she watched the movie, glancing over at Alex as she did. Her wife stared at the screen with glazed eyes. Olivia looked back at the screen and tried to figure out why Alex was so intent to watch this movie. So far, not a lot of romance or comedy had occurred, which were usually the type of movies her wife dragged her too with the promise of unlimited soda and candy, her one vice in life. She usually followed willingly because her wife would smile at her, and she just couldn't say no to those pretty blue eyes staring at her.

As the dark-haired woman grabbed the blonde woman roughly by the neck and pulled her close, Olivia heard several movie-watchers gasp and shift in their seats, leaning forward with anticipation. The dark-haired woman laughed, then leaned down toward the blonde in the leather bikini and brushed her lips in a soft kiss.

"Holy shit," gasped Olivia.

"Oh my God," muttered Alex.

"Wow," said the woman behind them.

Wide brown eyes turned in the dark theater to stare at equally wide blue ones. "Alex, she just kissed her," Olivia mumbled then whispered, "this is a lesbian film. Why didn't you say earlier?"

"I wanted to surprise you. So, um surprise," Alex whispered. "This is a movie based on that one show I watched obsessively last year. Remember?"

"Huh, I thought that dark-haired sailor woman looked familiar, but I wasn't sure. She looks a little different all decked out in that nasty robe," Olivia whispered as she took a sip of her soda and gazed at the screen, suddenly interested in the movie. She reached over and grabbed a few candies from the bag sitting in Alex's lap, and munched them without really tasting them. For some reason, she needed something sweet in her mouth to keep her mind off the warmth gathering between her thighs as she watched the two women on screen flirt and touch each other at every opportunity.

As the two women on screen settled in for the night around a campfire, after saving a woman and child from an evil Warlord Pirate, Olivia groaned, "gah, why don't they just sleep together already." She pointed at the screen and tossed a piece of candy toward the screen, barely missing the shorthaired woman two rows in front of her.

After forty minutes of watching the two women touching and kissing, Olivia needed to see some action of a different kind. The sword fights and the kicking and jumping were entertaining but Olivia kept holding out for some skin-to-skin action and not of the bathing together variety. She leaned in to Alex and whispered in her ear, "are they ever going to fuck?"

Alex released her wife's hand to stroke the strong thigh underneath their clasped hands, trying to soothe Olivia and entice her not to throw any more candy at the ladies in front of them. She wanted to sit in the back because she knew her wife would get frustrated with the flirting between the two beautiful women on the screen. She knew she would need to release her frustration.

"Calm down Liv. This is a _Teen_ rated movie," Alex leaned close to her wife's fragrant skin and whispered, "they can't show that kind of action, but we can." She slid her hand up the trouser clad thigh until her fingers brushed the warm center seam right below the zipper.

"What do you mean?" Olivia stuttered as the insistent fingers of her wife climbed higher until she heard her zipper being undone. In a panic, she looked at Alex, then glanced around at the surrounding women littering the seats close to them. Every face was facing forward or busy in their own pursuit of pleasure. Olivia whispered, "ehhh Alex? I don't think we…"

"Shh. Don't be too loud. I'd rather not get arrested," Alex husked as she slipped her fingers inside the zipper and teased the warm skin she found underneath. "I knew you would forget to do the laundry last night," she giggled softly as she stroked the soft hair beneath her fingertips in a circular pattern.

"Uhh. Oh, Alex," Olivia gasped as she spread her legs wider, then leaned back further in her seat to lay her head against the back of the tall seat. She closed her eyes, no longer interested in the two women on the screen. All her focus settled on the fingertips touching the throbbing skin of her mound. She bit her lip and nodded her head, unbuttoning her trousers for Alex to slip further inside if she wanted, then grabbed the arm rests in a tight grip as her wife took up her silent ascent.

"Um. I had trouble remembering to do the laundry because you insisted that I give you a massage last night." The fingers moved down her soft, wet flesh to cup her hard clit nestled between. "Oh God." She wiggled her hips to allow Alex to slip most of her hand inside the trousers.

Alex smiled, and kissed her wife's flushed cheek as her fingers pressed in and rubbed in slow, short circles. "I was sore."

"Yeah…sore." Olivia rocked her hips down onto the fingers rubbing her, wanting a harder touch. "More?" she requested in a shaky voice.

The warm finger pressed in, touching her hard clit then slipped down to enter her in a slow thrust. "Oh," she moaned at the abrupt touch, then widened her legs. Olivia rocked on the fingers, enjoying the fullness as they slipped inside then retreated, only to repeat the motion in a faster rhythm.

"I'm going to make you come all over my fingers," Alex whispered then suckled Olivia's neck, not stopping the quick jabs of her fingers as they thrust inside her wife in deep, darting strokes.

"Yyyyesssss," Olivia whispered while nodding her head, her hips rocking down on the fingers thrusting inside her, gasping as a warm, hard palm started grinding into her aching clit on each in-stroke. The movement rapidly propelling her toward her orgasm, her body started throbbing the minute the two women kissed on the screen. She bit her lip as she felt the heat in her hips, the wetness pooling out of her body and the numb tingles traveling down the backs of her thighs.

"You feel so good, riding my fingers." Alex ground her palm hard, using her thumb joint to hit the slick clit as it pulsed with her wife's heartbeat. "So wet Liv. God, you've coated my whole hand." The warm sheath around her fingertips trembled and clutched as she thrust in harder, reaching deeper inside the heat of her wife.

Alex kissed Olivia's lips, quieting her deep moans as she felt her wife release her pleasure, her hips shaking and her body arching up as a flood of wetness trickled down her fingers and pooled into her palm. She devoured Olivia's lips as she gave one final thrust inside, then eased out of the trembling, and very drenched lips. Pulling away from her wife's mouth, Alex slipped her wet fingers into her mouth, closed her eyes, and suckled the sweet essence off with satisfying slurps. "Mmhmmm. Yummy."

"Fuck Alex, you're evil," Olivia gasped out, her eyes glancing around the dark theater to see if any eyes met her gaze. None did. She sighed, silently relieved that her amorous wife didn't embarrass them or cause them to disturb any other couples nearby. Taking a big sip of her soda, she leaned back, pulled down her shirt, and pretended that she didn't just come all over her wife's fingers while sitting in the theater.

"I can't believe you just…" Olivia muttered.

Dark blue eyes turned and met her gaze. "I don't believe for a minute, Detective that you didn't know why I wanted to sit back here," Alex murmured, then shoved a handful of Reese's candies into her mouth.

Olivia opened her mouth to argue then shut it with a click, the sight of her wife chewing candies like a starving woman making her smile, and covering up the embarrassment she felt of just moments before. "Okay. Perhaps I did know and I went along with it anyways. I could never say no to you."

"Rrriii knoww, itzz howww I ggggot you woo marry me," Alex said, then broke the gaze to turn and stare at the screen, continuing to chew her candies and shoving more in her mouth as soon as she swallowed.

The credits for the movie started to roll, indicating the end of the movie. The sidelights increased, allowing Olivia to see all the other patrons of the theater. With a gasp, she noticed they were almost all women, and most of them had short hair and traveled in packs of four or six. "All lesbians. I don't know why I didn't notice before," she murmured as she stood up and pulled her still eating wife up and onto her feet.

Alex coughed as she turned to her wife and noticed her unbuttoned pants. "Shit, pants Liv," she gasped out, giving her chest a pound to dislodge the piece of candy stuck in her throat then pointed at Olivia's hips.

"Oh fuck." Olivia blushed as she turned then reached down to button up her trousers. "Alex dammit."

"Sorry," Alex whispered as she looked around at the other women exiting the theater. Most women ignored them, but a few glanced at Olivia as she buttoned up her pants then smiled and either ducked their heads or winked at Alex. She stood up, smirking as she met the few gazes and winked back.

"Did you develop a tick or something?" Olivia asked as she stomped down the aisle to exit the theater, not bothering to wait for her wife to follow. She knew she'd follow.

"No, I was just nodding to some…old acquaintances. Did you like the movie?" Alex followed her marching wife up the aisle to the double doors. Olivia stopped right before the doors and turned to gaze at Alex as she sauntered up the aisle toward her.

"Did I tell you how beautiful you look today Liv?" Alex smiled as she stopped in front of her wife, reaching out to clasp her hand. She knew her wife would melt under her loving attentions. And a quick smile replaced the frown gracing Olivia's lips and she squeezed the warm fingers back.

"Thank you. I loved the movie. It was very stimulating." Olivia opened the door, signaling Alex to precede her then followed and stepped beside her to walk out of the movie theater side-by-side.

Alex laughed as they waited on the sidewalk for a taxi. "So…does this mean you want to watch the boxed set of DVD's? I have season's one through three and there's a few Pirate episodes."

"Sure. If you let me return the favor." Olivia smiled at Alex, gazing into her eyes as she waited, not caring if anyone recognized the just fucked look in her eyes or the disheveled spikes of her hair.

"That chakrum, that's the round weapon the dark-haired woman carries, makes me all hot and bothered. Don't even think about criticizing me, I saw your eyes glisten as the blonde pulled out that staff thing. And, of course I want you… I just hope you can last through the first season." The taxi pulled up to the curb. Alex opened the car door, giggling and looking smug as she gazed at her disheveled wife.

Olivia swallowed the sudden boulder blocking her airway and said, "I had a protein shake for lunch, I should be good through at least the second season. We may have to take a break then and… snack on something."

"I'm already hungry," Alex giggled, then let a hearty laugh loose as she followed her wife into the taxi, slamming the door shut with a bang.

**A/N: Pirates ahoy. ;+) **


End file.
